Why did God invent humans ?
He was disappointed with monkeys.
Why did he invent alcohol ?
So ugly people would have a chance at sex.
Two blondes on opposite side of a river;
One hollers to the other one,
How do you get to the other side?
The other replies;
Silly !! Your already there.
Jesus and the devil are walking down a road. Jesus spots something blue and shiny in the dust and picks it up. The Devil asks, what's that?
Jesus replies, it's the truth.
The Devil sed; Here, let me organize it.
A week later same road, the Devil sees a dog licking it's dick.
The Devil sez: damn, I wish I could do that.
Jesus replies, I'd pet him a little first, he looks mean
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