FEAR....

......as in

The

Afraid I'll Succeed Syndrome

The only person (family included) who supported me as an artist was my ex friend/instructor/mentor 

SAM CLAYBERGER

...who passed last year at 92 leaving 500 canvases behind with instructions for his daughter to destroy his work when he was gone.

Not only has there not been support for me as an artist there has been intense and wide spread resistance.  People put special effort and energy into offending.  Like making sure you know about the artist party your not invited to.  It's a wonder I didn't commit suicide long ago.  Hopping into bed with your enemy has no effect if you don't know about it.  How about telling you your work will be shown but never say when.  The power of denial is intoxicating.  Can't fire you till they hire you.  Can't stand you up till they make an appointment or deny you sex unless you think you might get some.  Nuffin from nuffin is nuffin.

The joke is this...you weren't in unless you weren't out about something, so I decided to come out of the closet.  The resistance was so intense I went back inside and locked the door.  Didn't need too, it was nailed shut from the outside.

I sat down and smoked a bowl, and ask my self

...do I really want to go out?

The trouble is I'm talented, intelligent, organized and experienced.  In essence I'm a threat.  I make people look bad.  They can not consciously deal with jealousy

so it sublimates itself into the sub conscious where it manifest itself as a behavior pattern that generally is a block to progress. Typically dropping the ball while it's in their court.  The friend who adds insult to injury by making you wait three months for them to make twenty mins. for you before telling you they can't help because they're busy.  They can't stop you so they do the next best thing, slow you down.  

It's called the afraid I'll succeed syndrome.

Type "busy" into the search box for my thoughts on that.

After 55 yrs of doing art I find it almost impossible to sell art.  

Not only is it next to impossible to sell it is difficult to give away.  Really helps the self esteem.  If you come by I'll give you a canvas.  They never show.

Worse is people absolutely refuse to look at the art.  Handed a guy a book one time he handed it back.  Any manifestation of art is met with resistance.

WHY WON'T THEY LOOK AT THE ART?

Because if they did they would have to give me credit.  That would validate me and they would have to respect me and look up.  They would rather look down.  Simple, don't look at the art.

Excuses are a dime a dozen.  Anything but look at the art.